i'm starting this new blog right smack dab in the middle of one of the most significant growth spurts of my life. some of the things i talk about might not make sense for those of you not in my brain (thank the lord that's actually none of you!), but for those in my immediate trans-continental circles these days, you'll be able to follow more that most. for those of you i rarely talk with these days, feel free to ask questions...but i'm not going to spend much time backtracking. i'm simply writing from where i'm at now.
i'm really in such an incredible season of life. i am learning more about God than i ever knew was possible to learn. he is more real to me than ever before...and by that i seriously mean REAL. the other day i was sitting on the couch having a cry (as common as a cup of coffee for me, and i'm ok with that) and i suddenly felt 100% that i was in Jesus' lap. i wrapped my arms around his neck and sat there crying into his chest. i'm not crazy (anymore :), although you might surmise that after my previous sentence. but the truth--with a capital T--is that i was sitting in Jesus' lap. I don't know if it was the comfy couch, or the fact i was in that nice dip between the cushions where you can sink into the couch if you sit there long enough, or just my hunger and thirst for Jesus lately, but it was a moment i did not want to leave. so i sat there until the sun went down. the sky was dark, and so was the room i sat in. i didn't want to get up and turn the lights on. i didn't want to leave that place. so, i sat in the dark for well over an hour.
most of the times when i cry these days, it's from a different place than ever before. in the past, i've cried mostly because of feeling frustrated, angry, or just a hell of a lot of pain. but these days, pain has become so normal a feeling in my life that i don't really dislike it. it's taken on a new form in my life, or maybe i've taken on a new perspective. pain is so significant, so formative, and so something we should embrace and expect as followers of Jesus. He and his apostles talk ALOT about endurance, hardship, taking up our crosses, etc. Seems to me Jesus wanted us to embrace pain rather than shirk from it. but anyways...i digress...
i'm in a place where pain is a nice companion. it beckons me into the lap of Jesus (or, the couch, for you haters out there). My soul communes with his on a level i couldn't get to if i was avoiding my hurt. bill johnson says there are realms of glory we can only get to as a result of desperation. my pain creates a desperation, and i can honestly say that today the most important thing to me is being with Jesus...so whatever gets me there, i'm ok with. I want all the realms of glory i can get.
this post has gone in the exact opposite direction from what i had planned. so i'm just going to post this and start over on the next post. wait 12 seconds.
i'm really in such an incredible season of life. i am learning more about God than i ever knew was possible to learn. he is more real to me than ever before...and by that i seriously mean REAL. the other day i was sitting on the couch having a cry (as common as a cup of coffee for me, and i'm ok with that) and i suddenly felt 100% that i was in Jesus' lap. i wrapped my arms around his neck and sat there crying into his chest. i'm not crazy (anymore :), although you might surmise that after my previous sentence. but the truth--with a capital T--is that i was sitting in Jesus' lap. I don't know if it was the comfy couch, or the fact i was in that nice dip between the cushions where you can sink into the couch if you sit there long enough, or just my hunger and thirst for Jesus lately, but it was a moment i did not want to leave. so i sat there until the sun went down. the sky was dark, and so was the room i sat in. i didn't want to get up and turn the lights on. i didn't want to leave that place. so, i sat in the dark for well over an hour.
most of the times when i cry these days, it's from a different place than ever before. in the past, i've cried mostly because of feeling frustrated, angry, or just a hell of a lot of pain. but these days, pain has become so normal a feeling in my life that i don't really dislike it. it's taken on a new form in my life, or maybe i've taken on a new perspective. pain is so significant, so formative, and so something we should embrace and expect as followers of Jesus. He and his apostles talk ALOT about endurance, hardship, taking up our crosses, etc. Seems to me Jesus wanted us to embrace pain rather than shirk from it. but anyways...i digress...
i'm in a place where pain is a nice companion. it beckons me into the lap of Jesus (or, the couch, for you haters out there). My soul communes with his on a level i couldn't get to if i was avoiding my hurt. bill johnson says there are realms of glory we can only get to as a result of desperation. my pain creates a desperation, and i can honestly say that today the most important thing to me is being with Jesus...so whatever gets me there, i'm ok with. I want all the realms of glory i can get.
this post has gone in the exact opposite direction from what i had planned. so i'm just going to post this and start over on the next post. wait 12 seconds.
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