Rescue and Defend.

I love blogging. Well, I take that back. I love writing. I write a lot more than I blog. 

I suppose there are so many things I could talk about, but I sometimes am not sure how interested anyone is in the inner workings of my mind. I mean, really guys. It can get wild up there! The older I get the more I learn to take captive, redirect, distract, and sometimes completely ignore all that fires off up there. Does anyone else relate?

Sometimes really funny things happen, like I think of rap songs. Just last week Matthew 6:34 transformed from a set of holy words that Ive known off the top of my head for years into a little diddy that has not only brought the words to life, but been so catchy that I can recall it at opportune moments (like the other day when 3 people in one day had their teeth fall out of their mouth-which was also random). 

This morning I woke up and realized "Aha! It's the Saturday before Palm Sunday!" I then thought of going out and finding palm tree branches and making Penny do something creative in order to reenact Jesus riding into Jerusalem on a donkey. But before I could get that far, I read in the daily scripture readings from my Book of Common Prayer, which included both Psalm 137 and 144.

Psalm 137 is all about captivity, and a lament groans from the depths of the psalmist heart as he hangs his harp on the tree and embraces the torment and mockings of his captors. He longs for freedom, for the completion of God's promises he and his people probably had a hard hand in delaying for his own life.

Psalm 144 is the after-party. It's humble and full of a simmering joy that comes when you've run a long race or climbed a high mountain..when you've overcome. I like that it's not a reflection of some perfection the psalmist has attained, for he still cried out in verses 8 and 11 "Deliver me and Rescue me". I've learned this to be true in my own life also, that I may have overcome a hell of a lot, I may feel really connected to Jesus, and I may be at peace within and without, but I still need delivering and rescuing something fierce.

I decided that Im going to memorize and pray verses 12-15 over myself and Penny, as well as any future family the Lord might entrust me with:

Then our sons in their youth will be like well-nurtured plants,

and our daughters will be like pillars

carved to adorn a palace.

Our barns will be filled

with every kind of provision.

Our sheep will increase by thousands,

by tens of thousands in our fields;

our oxen will draw heavy loads.

There will be no breaching of walls,

no going into captivity,

no cry of distress in our streets.

Blessed are the people of whom this is true; 

blessed are the people whose God is the Lord.

Life hasn't gone quite like I imagined as a tiny young girl dreaming dreams of Prince Charming and white horses and pretty little bows on every day of my life. Life's been more like a rock band screaming on a stage, trying to scare it's audience in one moment, then turning around and singing the cry of each heart with gentle words and strums of an old guitar the next. I've been unpredictable, but God is not. And as I try to pull my wandering heart into commune with His, I recognize that He already likes me. He liked me long before I liked myself. Long before I started even trying to like Him back.

Jesus, you are the rescuer. Lead us out of captivity, and teach us how to trust in He whom we cannot see with human eyes or figure out with human minds. And thanks for giving us our freedom, even when we don't know quite what to do with it.