Lord of the Rings groupie, that's me!
I know there are many people in this world who would say that reading is a luxury. In a busy day and age where success, parenting, and just the humdrum of daily life responsibilities can clog up our free space, there are definitely certain things we must forsake for seasons of our life. Even things we love--for me, reading would be at the top of that list, along with sewing, baking, and trail running--sometimes get lost in the realities of life, choices, and results.
For some reason, I write this entry with a dash of guilt sprinkled in…i think of all my young mom friends who comment on how life has changed for them. I feel like maybe i should enjoy reading for their sake, instead I should also find reasons to not have the luxuries they have temporarily lost. But let's just be honest: I am not a young mother and I don't foresee myself becoming one in the next short while, so "Read on" I say! And eat that 7th cinnamon roll of the weekend while you are at it! (I was ill, so that justified all faulty reasoning).
Anyways…. I digress. I just finished a FANTASTIC journey! I started out at Bag End in the Shire, and made my way south east through the land of Bree, into the caves of Moria, up into the trees of Lorien, down the Anduin River and among the Misty Mountains, all the way south to the fields of Rohan, the majestic lands of Gondor, and into the heart of darkness itself: Mount Doom in the belly of Mordor.
Reading Lord of the Rings was one of the best literary choices I have ever made! A bit daunting at first, I am so glad I persevered. I found book 2 a bit of a drag, but once I caught back up with Sam and Frodo about 200 pages in, I was back on the bandwagon. And it was a fast track from there to the end of "The Return of the King", 400 pages of total bliss.
While the books are remarkable, it is perhaps the symbolism of the journey of the Hobbits to my own dark journey of late that I wish to highlight. I found such courage in the perseverance of the hobbits. Unlikely at best, they were chosen before time to bear the weight of the worlds shadow. They took things one day at a time. They needed each other. They had faith. They found courage in the most unquestionably terrifying moments. And, they gave up their own life for the good of others.
I am in a season in need of great perseverance. I have felt the weight of the worlds shadows the longer I have lived abroad. This world is not Brentwood, Tennessee. One can argue it is stunning and majestic, but living in the ditches with the pain this city holds has been my calling, not to one of ease and carefree. Ive learned to not resent that, not to boast in it. Ive made any number of bad choices, but it is perseverance that I cling to. It is consistency that God spoke to my heart one February day in 2006 when I was consumed with thoughts of dirty street kids sleeping in the rain. God told me "Just keep showing up".
And with perseverance has come more of an undoing of the person I remember being. Like Frodo at the foothill of Mount Doom, I don't suppose I remember certain things I once took for granted. And yet, one thing is achingly evident…I need friendship in order to sustain this journey. While my analogy is super dramatic, and I am not REALLY as bad off as Frodo and Sam, I relate to the daily choice they had to make to keep on showing up. Whatever our Mount Doom is, we are all called to face some terrible and terrifying moments: the ache of grief and loss, the crash of expectations, reality itself is hard. And we are blessed in the hardness by the love of others.
Today, as I finished off my journey with LOTR, I watched the final movie. Peter Jackson does a tremendous job of bringing Tolkien's "Samwise Gamgee" to life. It is evident in book and movie that he is more essential then he ever gets explicit credit for. We hail "Frodo!", but were it not for Sam, Frodo would not be hailed. Likewise, I have not survived this journey, nor will i continue to survive, without the moments were others have carried me in word, deed, sms, whatsapp, coffee date, or the like.
And yet, living abroad, community can be a very transient thing. Even without those who stay "long-term", relationships change, as do all relationships. Yet, I have been blessed by a handful of constants, of people who keep "showing up" in my life, thought I sometimes question their sanity ;) God's greatest gift has been Jesus manifested in the hearts and hands of some people I share life with in Cape Town. Simon showed me a verse from Proverbs 18 this morning: 24 The man of many friends [a friend of all the world] will prove himself a bad friend, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
While relationships can be a source of great wounding for anyone, they also hold the power to redeem the bad and redefine our understanding of so much.
hahahahaha…. im a dork.
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